The juice that is against Islam

It seems that narrow minded lawyers in Pakistan are trying to stop people from drinking a juice drink from manufacturer Shezan because it is said that the company is owned by a Qadiani.

Recently, The Express Tribune reported on a decision taken by the Lahore Bar Association. These lawyers, some of whom vocally supported convicted murderer and all-round crazy person Mumtaz Qadri (also a lawyers’ favourite in Rawalpindi and Islamabad, where garland of roses were placed around his ‘blessed’ neck and offers were placed for his ‘holy’ MP5 submachine gun), decided that Shezan a major food and beverage brand should be banned from all court premises because it is owned by every Pakistani bigot’s favourite punching bag, Ahmadis. This was followed up by a vow to “also…ban other products at a later stage”.

Perhaps they should get rid of the atom bomb because it was based on a Jew’s theory that e=mc2 and Christians invented the device based on this theory!

The Express Tribune Blog has a further list of things these wonderful men of law should also be banning if they are to truly save Islam and Pakistan;


Specifically the infamous Kalashnikov Ak-47 and AK-74 rifles which so many feel a religious duty to acquire. The guns carry the name of their inventor, Soviet weapons designer Lt General Mikhael Kalashnikov, an atheist. Of course the fact that he regretted his invention later, saying things like, “It is painful for me to see when criminal elements of all kinds fire from my weapon…I created this weapon primarily to safeguard our motherland” and, “I would prefer to have invented a machine that people could use and that would help farmers with their work — for example a lawnmower.”


Now clothing dates back past the coming of Islam, or any modern religion for that matter, but the problem is, how do you know who made the cloth for that fascinating non-Muslim, European-styled black on white combo you’re wearing? Was it an atheist in China? Was it a Christian in South America? Was it a Hindu in India? Was it a non-whatever-you-are in Pakistan? The only solution to assure compatibility is to make your own cloth and stitch it yourself.

Cell phones

Invented by Christians and manufactured by atheists in China, it is high time to lay those Blackberrys, Nokias, iPhones, HTCs and Samsungs on top of a bonfire. Start with Android phones, since the technology’s father is a Jew.

Paper, printing, and ink

All three are Chinese inventions, if the lawyers are really committed, they will begin a movement to get rid of all written and printed material such as the Constitution of Pakistan. But wait, wouldn’t that mean having to dispose of all the written anti-minority laws? No problem. They can rely on oral histories. Who needs certified written records when any prime candidate for natural deselection can spout a cockamamie theory and present it as fact?

Although the above list is in jest and mocks the Lahore Bar Association, in their decision to ban a juice drink because apparently the company is run by a Qadiani, it raises a serious point about who is control in Pakistan. It seems that the ‘mad mullahs’ and their fan base are asserting more and more control in the nuclear power that is Pakistan and this should be worrying for all, and not just the Ahmadiyya community.

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